On one fine day a Malay worker from a private company calls Lembaga Hasil Dalam Negeri (Malaysia IRS) to change his mailing address. Since both of them are Malay, they converse in Bahasa Melayu.

After checking in all the important details about his file with LHDN, they come to the final part of their conversation.

LHDN operator: Say nak konfemkan betulkah encik nak tukar alamat surat-menyurat? (I want to confirm do you really want to change your mailing address?)

Malay worker: Ya, hantar ke Ranhill Worley Sdn. Bhd. opis baru saya. (Yes, just send it to my new office at Ranhill Worley)

LHDN operator: Apa Renheel? …… eja macam mana? (Renheel what? ..… how do you spell it?)

Malay worker: R.A.N.H.I.L.L eja dia camni : ‘R’.. untuk Rumah… ‘A’ untuk Ayam .. ‘N’ untuk Nangka… ‘H’ untuk Holland … ‘I’ untuk itik.. ‘L.L’ untuk lain- lain….’ (R.A.N.H.I.L.L. you spell it like this R for Rumah, A for Ayam, N for Nangka, H for Holland, I for Itik, LL for Lain Lain…)(*Rumah=House, *Ayam=Chicken, *Itik=Duck, *Lain-lain=Others)

LHDN operator: Ok.. nanti kami hantar ke alamat itu ( Ok.. we’ll send a notification to the new address)

After a week, a postcard confirming the tele-conversation was sent to the new address.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Please scroll down to see postcard<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Ranhill Rmh Ayam N. Holland Itek Lain Worley Sdn. Bhd.

Technorati Tags: Bahasa Melayu, Fake True Story, Funny, IRS, Kerteh, Kuala Terengganu, LHDN, Malay, Malaysia government, Ranhill Worley, Terengganu, Urusan Seri Paduka Baginda, Weird

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The joint suit by the Federal government and the Penang state administration is related to ideas that were first registered by Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Razak and Chief Minister Lim Guan Eng respectively.

The recently launched Apple iPad

Putrajaya and Komtar are claiming that the iPad, due to its position as a product in between the iPhone and the MacBook, is mimicking the 1 Malaysia and Middle Malaysia concepts, respectively.

This compounds Apple’s already tarnished image as being “copycats” after Nokia had in October filed a suit worth up to RM3.5 billion for patent infringements related to the all-conquering iPhone.

A statement from the Prime Minister’s Office said that, “Malaysia was the first and is unique in trying to put forward this idea of unity, that all you need is one, plain, dull, boring ol’ thing that combines all the best elements of Malaysia into one streamlined slogan.”

When reached for comment, Information and Culture Minister insisted that “this is Malaysian culture and we cannot allow others to steal it, just like how Indonesia stole our batik and Singapore, our Ampang Yong Tau Fu.”

Meanwhile, in a press conference a few minutes ago, Lim insisted that “we have painstakingly worked with lawyers and marketing firms to come up with an idea that was original and convincing, and now Apple has simply come in and stolen it.”

He added that disallowing Apple from using his idea was not acting like a “dictator, chauvinist or communist” but that Apple CEO Steve Jobs was “burning bridges” with the people of Penang and Malaysia, implying that Penang’s relationship with one of its most important foreign investors Intel, who are also Apple’s main chip producer, may have been jeopardised.

He also issued a statement explaining that Middle Malaysia “is about moderate, non-extremist Malaysians. They are not too big, not too small, not too hard, not too soft, not too hot, not too cold, but just nice for people like Goldilocks.”

This comes on the back of criticism that “nobody knows what the hell Malaysian slogans are about since Malaysia Boleh anyway.”

However, it is uncertain if such definitions will be enough to convince the courts in Delaware, where Nokia, whose handphone manuals make up 90 per cent of all Finnish literature, has also filed its suit.

As such, both the Attorney-General and state legal adviser have compiled reams of documents concerning the usage of 1 Malaysia and Middle Malaysia. As with most of these legal documents, they are so thorough and meandering that a Garmin could get lost in them.

Technology expert iVan eNg believes that if Malaysia wins the suit, it could be worth RM2 billion as “despite its obviously stupid, menstrually-linked name, we all know that people will still buy something from Apple even if it is Steve Jobs’ shit in a bag, so long as Apple puts an ‘i’ in front of it or ‘book’ at the end of it.”

And in fact, law experts in Malaysia are confident of victory and are already looking discussing how the award will be split between Putrajaya and Komtar.

“We know that the Federal government has been slow to release funds to Penang. But in this case, I guess they will insist Penang has no right to the cash as the suit is not within Penang’s territory or its state waters. So they will only offer it some ‘wang ehsan’ I believe,” said Bar Council president Left Right N. Centre.

Already, the spate of suits against Apple is drawing flak from previously hardcore Apple supporters such as celebrities like Bono of U2 and Kanye West.

“You know, this is like piracy and piracy is ruining the world. If there was no piracy in the world, then I would have enough money to single-handedly Drop The Debt and cure AIDS,” Bono said.

When quizzed about how Apple was in fact making tons of money from this “piracy”, he simply said, “Hello, hello, I’m at a place called Vertigo,” implying that this suggestion was as nonsensical as his lyrics.

West said that “I’m really happy for Malaysia, and I’ma let them finish. But Nike had one of the best slogans of all time!”

Source: TheMalaysianInsider.com

Naked-Malaysian: I don’t get it. Is this a joke or what?

Technorati Tags: 1Malaysia, Apple, CM Lim Guan Eng, iPAD, iPhone, Komtar, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia per capita, Malaysian Insider, Nokia, pattent infringement, Penang, PM Najib Tun Razak, Putrajaya

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This video clip is rare, but the situation is not. This fight is between two Chinese. The same incident would possibly repeated if it involves a Malay vs. another Malay or Indian vs. Indian, but the probability for it to happen would really be unlikely should this 2 man are from different races.

More Videos Here

Watch out how one of the fighters threw away the wooden bat used to hit the other fellow across the street. This guy knew exactly what he was doing. He could be charged for assaulting the other guy should the police got their hand on this evidence. Notice any damage to the car?

Technorati Tags: car accident, chinese, indian, Kuala Lumpur, Malay, Malaysia Deals, road bully, street fight, stupid Malaysian, youtube

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The latter stadium was in chaos once again last Tuesday seeing some fans throwing firecrackers and other object into the playing field.

Somehing is very wrong with Kelantan keeper. Should one asked if money got anything to do with it?

Riot and police truck burning in April 2009

It is known the Kelantanese are hardcore fanatics when it comes to soccer, and some are proud hooligans.

It is known Kelantan neighbors Thailand and supplies of heavy firecracker are easily available.

It is known Kelantanese do not accept losing at soccer, especially when caused by stupid mistake.

Lesson not learnt. The Kelantan fans need to learn anger management, the policing authority need to tighten security checks (firecrackers are illegal in Malaysia) and the players need not to play stupidly. Anyone please do something!

Technorati Tags: Kedah, Kelantan, Malaysia Deals, Malaysian Football, Thailand, youtube

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Ruling on a lawsuit filed by a Malaysian Roman Catholic church publication, the Kuala Lumpur High Court said on Thursday that the home ministry’s ban on the use of the word “Allah” was “illegal, null and void”.

Judge Lau Bee Lan said the term was not exclusive to Islam, adding that all Malaysians had the right to use the word under the constitution which guarantees freedom of expression and religion.

The Herald had filed for a judicial review after it was temporarily ordered to stop publishing in 2007 for using the word “Allah”.

The government had argued that the word was exclusive to Islam and that its use by other religions could mislead Muslims and harm national security.

The church disputed this and argued that the word predates Islam as a term for God and is used in many places in a non-Muslim context.

It added that in Malaysia, the term is widely used among indigenous Christian tribes in Sabah and Sarawak.

No threat to security

The church also argued that the ban goes against the principle of freedom of religion and religious practice enshrined in the federal constitution.

Lau ruled on Thursday that the home ministry had failed to show how the Herald’s use of “Allah” could threaten national security.

Lawrence Andrew, the editor of the Catholic weekly, said outside the courtroom that he was “very happy” with the decision.

“We called out for justice and we got it,” he said, adding: “It is a victory for all Malaysians.”

Thursday’s ruling could open the door for other non-Muslim publications to use the word “Allah” as a translation for the word God in Malay language publications.

Hishammuddin Hussein, the home minister, said the government would appeal against the decision.

Source: AlJazeera

Technorati Tags: Allah, Islam, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, Malaysia News, Malaysian, Roman Catholic, Weird

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”My job, as required by the law, is to determine whether the prosecution has succeeded in establishing a prima facie against the two accused. In this case, both are identical twins.

”Arresting officer Chief Inspector N. Sekaran, when identifying the first twin, was sceptical, but when asked by counsel, said that he needed some time and yet was still not so sure when identifying the first twin.

”A member in the arresting team, Kpl Mohamad Sidek Paiman, at first could not identify, but later asked for both the twins to stand and said there was a difference in their height. However, he identified the first twin as the one wearing spectacles.

”The question is, which of the twins was arrested first. Is it the one wearing the spectacles because at the time of arrest both were not wearing spectacles.

”Mohamad Sidek said he only identified them from the shirts they wore on that day,” she added.

Sathis Raj and Sabarish Raj were charged with their brother, R. Deva Raj, 43, now deceased, with two counts of trafficking in 166,336gm of canabis and 1,762gm of raw opium at a house in Jalan SS 2/19, Petaling Jaya, at about 4.05pm on Aug 5, 2003. Justice Zaharah said that based on the testimonies by the two policemen, there were doubts and the prosecution had failed to determine which of the twins was in possession of the drugs.

“One of the accused should be called to enter his defence but the question is which twin, because even the DNA cannot be used to determine the identity. On the day of the incident, both were not wearing spectacles. Otherwise, that could have been used as a basis for Mohamad Sidek to identify the first twin.

She said that although one of them was indeed in possession of the drugs, she was acquitting both because she could not afford to send the wrong person to the gallows.

After Justice Zaharah delivered her judgment, the twins, both clad in white shirts, cried and hugged each other.

Deputy public prosecutor Rosidah Abu Bakar prosecuted while counsel Gurbachan Singh appeared for the twins. – Bernama

Source: Star Online

Technorati Tags: Death Penalty, Drug Trafficking, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, Malaysia News, Malaysian, Petaling Jaya

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