On one fine day a Malay worker from a private company calls Lembaga Hasil Dalam Negeri (Malaysia IRS) to change his mailing address. Since both of them are Malay, they converse in Bahasa Melayu.

After checking in all the important details about his file with LHDN, they come to the final part of their conversation.

LHDN operator: Say nak konfemkan betulkah encik nak tukar alamat surat-menyurat? (I want to confirm do you really want to change your mailing address?)

Malay worker: Ya, hantar ke Ranhill Worley Sdn. Bhd. opis baru saya. (Yes, just send it to my new office at Ranhill Worley)

LHDN operator: Apa Renheel? …… eja macam mana? (Renheel what? ..… how do you spell it?)

Malay worker: R.A.N.H.I.L.L eja dia camni : ‘R’.. untuk Rumah… ‘A’ untuk Ayam .. ‘N’ untuk Nangka… ‘H’ untuk Holland … ‘I’ untuk itik.. ‘L.L’ untuk lain- lain….’ (R.A.N.H.I.L.L. you spell it like this R for Rumah, A for Ayam, N for Nangka, H for Holland, I for Itik, LL for Lain Lain…)(*Rumah=House, *Ayam=Chicken, *Itik=Duck, *Lain-lain=Others)

LHDN operator: Ok.. nanti kami hantar ke alamat itu ( Ok.. we’ll send a notification to the new address)

After a week, a postcard confirming the tele-conversation was sent to the new address.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Please scroll down to see postcard<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Ranhill Rmh Ayam N. Holland Itek Lain Worley Sdn. Bhd.

Technorati Tags: Bahasa Melayu, Fake True Story, Funny, IRS, Kerteh, Kuala Terengganu, LHDN, Malay, Malaysia government, Ranhill Worley, Terengganu, Urusan Seri Paduka Baginda, Weird

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Mess with the best, die like the rest

The religious polemic about who has the right to use the name Allah in Malaysia just added a new twist. The government website for Malaysia judiciary court was cracked by an unknown hacker going by the name Brainwash for a brief moment last night. The hacker then defaced the (http://www.mahkamah.gov.my) website with a short remarks threatening the Malaysia judiciary system to drop the recent ‘Allah’ judgment. The said website however has been duly restored at the time of this posting.

————————————————————–>>< <————————————————————

TakeDown by Brainwash!

Allah only restricted to muslim only. Dont touch us as we dont touch you. Unless…..

“Mess with the best, die like the rest”

p/s: To the court, Brain know you postponed it but if you wise enough then you should drop it

————————————————————–>>< <————————————————————

Naked-Malaysian: Mess with the best, die like the rest? Come on man! You are joking ‘rite? What’s about all the other serious words? An appropriate Surah relating to the issue maybe? Your skill for hacking doesn’t match up with the requirement not to be cheesy at the wrong time. Next time draft a good statement prior to hacking will you?

Technorati Tags: Allah, hacked, mahkamah, Malaysia, Malaysia Court, Malaysia News, Malaysian, polemic, Roman Catholic

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In Malaysia, religions are not supposed to communicate with each other or all hell will break loose. Another religion or belief that has crossed into the Malay belief  in Malaysia is those practiced by the Chinese.

Wearing a Kopiah (head cap) and sarong and holding Keris in its right hand, this idol clearly depict a Malay

A majority of the Chinese in Malaysia claim to be Buddhist or Taoist, though the lines between them are often blurred and, typically, a syncretic Chinese religion incorporating elements of Buddhism, Taoism, Confucianism and traditional ancestor-worship is practised, with the fact that each individual follows it in varying degrees. About 9.6% are Christian (Mainstream Protestants, Catholics and other denominations including a fast-growing number of Evangelicals and Charismatics) and a small number (0.7-1.0%) profess Islam as their faith.

To put it simply, other Asian religions is based on local belief and the nature to worship. Datoks could be remnants of pre-Islamic era in Malaysia. Before the Islamic religious authorities started to clearly define what Islam is and is not, the worship of Datoks and Keramats were widespread among Malay and Indian Muslims. By that time, Na Toks worshipping have taken root in the local Chinese spiritual beliefs. In Malay pagan spirits are usually called jin kafir while guardian spirits are called penunggu. Penunggu usually means watchman, guard or attendant. The worship of Datoks among Malays and Indian Muslims have declined steadily after the authorities clamped down on such activities and nowadays are secluded.

Datoks and Keramats were seen as an alternative power to help in spiritual healing and grant protection. Mediums (Bomoh) were engaged to enable communication between worshippers with the Datoks and Keramats. The Datoks and Keramats include spirits residing in trees, stones and even the spirits of well known local Muslim religious teachers (worshipped at their graves).

It is not clear why the Chinese, having their own earth deity can easily accept the Datoks into their religious pantheon. May be they need a local deity to gain more spiritual protection. Datoks are known to grant winning TOTO or lottery numbers to worshippers. That could be one reason Datoks were absorbed into the Malaysian Chinese religious pantheon.

Malaysian Chinese’s definition

To most Malaysian Chinese, the Na Tok Kong / Na Tuk Kong (Hokkien : Da Tok Kong) is a local guardian spirit that resides in trees, ant hills, caves, riversides and in strange stone formations. A Na Tok Kong worship usually begin after a person is granted vision of the Na Tok’s spiritual form. Some common forms are a white tiger and the form of an old man dressed in white. A Na Tok Kong can also be ‘invited’ to reside outside (never indoors) a family home for spiritual protection and luck. Some people build small shrines by the road for this deity.

Strictly Local and Halal offering for a Muslim Deity

Dato Haji Keramat

The local Malay word ‘Datok Keramat’ means deity of the shrine, translated to Chinese as Na Tok Kong (Datok; Chinese pronunciation Na Tok and Kong is a call of respect). Datok Haji Keramat is believed to be a very powerful local earth deity that help many people who sincerely pray for him and known to hate any form of liquor.

There are various Na Tok Kongs. Datok Panglima Hitam is associated as a fierce guardian of villages. A Datok that resides in trees is called Datok Hijau. Some Datok even have their own personal names, which are revealed to worshippers during trance session. Their identity can be ascertained by looking at the banner at the shrine. Usually, the Datoks’ name and the shrine’s date of establishment would be stated there. Among other known Malay Na Tok Kongs in Malaysia are Datok Ali and Datok Samsuri.

Worship

The Na Tok can be worshipped on any day. The basic offerings are a pair of white candles, 3 joss sticks and burning gum benjamin (kemenyan). Na Tok worshippers prepare special offerings for the Na Tok on Thursday evenings. A set of betel nut leaves complete with lime (kapur), sliced betel nut (pinang), Javanese tobacco (tembakau Jawa) and palm cigarette leaves (rokok daun) are offered together with fruits and the basic offerings.

Every Na Tok has different individual feast days. In the Northern States (Perlis, Kedah & Penang), worshippers usually slaughter chickens, and sometimes goats to honour the Na Tok on the feast day. The chickens and goats MUST be slaughtered by a Muslim so as to make the offering allowable for the Na Tok. The meat is later cooked in curry and offered to the Na Tok together with turmeric rice (nasi kunyit). This offering is also done when worshippers get their wishes granted (e.g. winning lucky numbers requested from the Na Tok previously).

Offerings

Worshippers can place offerings of shredded tobacco, areca nut flakes, betel leaves with lime paste and fruits. Strictly no pork, beer, wine and alcoholic products (due to the Islamic nature of the Datoks, although Datoks has been incorporated into the local Chinese belief system, which has nothing to do with the Islamic religion whatsoever).

Naked-Malaysian: This post’s title itself is in contradiction to everything’s that is Islamic. In Islam even the great prophet Muhammad PBUH is only regarded as a messenger and not to be worship. To look at this at from a Chinese political angle would equal to blasphemy at the highest order since the Chinese are known to be anti Ketuanan Melayu (Malay superiority), as to worship the Malay deities would equal upholding Ketuhanan Melayu (Malay Godship). To be in Malaysia is to be in the most ironic country in the world.

Technorati Tags: Bomoh, chinese, Islam, Kedah, Keramat, Ketuanan Melayu, Malay, Malaysia, Malaysian, Na Tok Kong, Na Tuk Kong, Penang, Perlis

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This is not Muniappan, but a Malaysian Indian nevertheless

One day a tourist from Pike County, USA named Bob has just arrived in Malaysia for a short summer vacation. Anxious to know what Malaysia is all about, he decided to chart a taxi for a short tour in KL before checking-in to the hotel.

The name of the taxi driver that day is Muniappan,  an army retiree. As all other proud Malaysian, Muniappan want to impress Bob with Malaysia rapid development and decided to show the top few landmarks in Kuala Lumpur.

As they arrived at Dayabumi, Muniappan entered his tourist guide mode and started to explaine “Mr. Bob, here we are at Dayabumi, one of Malaysia prominent landmark. This building was completed in 1984 and the first to use all out white marbles finishes”. “Oh, really? interesting! How long they took to complete it?” asked Bob. Muniappan hesitates, but being a proud citizen he didn’t want to be seen as ignorant, so he bluffed,” I heard someone said 11 months”. Amazed by the answer, but reluctant to be seen as so, John replied, “Oh we got building like this back in the States, using the latest in construction technology it would take only took us not more than 7 months”.

After that, Muniappan brings Bob to KL Tower. “On our right side is Menara Kuala Lumpur, currently the fourth highest tower structure in the World, but when it was first completed,it ranked no. 1″. “How long was the construction period?”, asked Bob. Trying to outwit Bob this time, Muniappan answers,”exactly 6 months sir!”. “That’s like forever, the Chicago Sears Tower only took 4 and a half months, but that was like in 1932″, bragged Bob.

So this time Muniappan heads straight to Petronas Twin Towers, but upon arriving he purposedly shut his mouth. Amazed by the elegant architecture as he looked from the window, Bob asked,”So what is this twin building here?”

Muniappan casually replies, “…err I don’t know sir. IT WASN’T HERE WHEN I PASSED THROUGH YESTERDAY!”

Bob was then as silent as a dead corpes until they arrived at his hotel.

A top minister recently slammed Malaysia's taxi drivers, saying they were more of a problem for the tourism industry than the nation's notoriously filthy toilets

Technorati Tags: Dayabumi, KL Tower, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, Malaysia Deals, Malaysia Taxi, Malaysia Travel, Malaysian, Petronas Twin Tower

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